Thursday, December 11, 2008

Are Homemakers Not PC?

I caught up today with a college hall-mate on facebook. She asked what I was doing, and I told her that I stay at home with Marlee. Her response? "What?! I'm so disappointed in you. That's backwards, old fashioned, and anti-feminist. I can't belive you're the same girl I sat with in women's studies class."

Excuse me? There is nothing backwards about wanting to raise my child myself. About wanting to make a warm, loving home for her to grow up in. If anything, I feel empowered by the whole thing. Different strokes I guess.

I also got thinking about the word "homemaker." I much perfer this to "stay-at-home-mom." It's a more accurate description of what I do. I'm not a mom who stays at home. I work for my family, making our house a home. I like it, and I'm going to use it from here on out. I can only guess that the word disappeared for being un-PC.

I just wanted to toss it out there and see if anyone has come across this kind of mentality or has thoughts on it.

10 comments:

Danielle said...

In your profile, it states that you are a Doula.

T.J. and Jen said...

Oh, that really ticks me off! Why are people so judgemental. How is raising children a worthless cause. Grrr.

Kaleena said...

I'm really kind of disgusted by your friends reaction. Ugh. The words escape me, but how rude. Even if I thought that I would never say it to someone. Tactless. Simply tactless.

Jennifer said...

When I quit my job to stay home with my son, my husband called it women's liberation. I am doing exactly what i want to be doing; therefore I am truly liberated!

MrsEAM said...

I have a job that I will have to go back to after my DH and I have children. I envy you that you can be a homemaker!!

Renee said...

Danielle, I am a doula, but it is something I do as a service out of passion for birth, not as a job. Only half of my clients are paying clients. My doula "job" is definitely secondary.

Hippy Habibi said...

This hits home as I am currently in the midst of deciding what I plan to do now that I have a baby. Initially, I plan to finish the three classes remaining for my MA. But then what? Ultimately, I would like to teach at a college or university and earn my PhD. But I would really like to stay home and raise my son until he starts school. My husband keeps pushing me to consider becoming an in-home daycare provider (something I have NO desire to do!). I feel pressure from society, my husband, and my own previously-held beliefs, that I should "do something productive." Now I am realizing, what can be more productive than devoting my time and my self to my child? Why isn't this concept celebrated?

the bragg crew said...

I think there's an innate desire deep down in EVERY woman to want to be able to devote herself to being a homemaker; however it's unfortunate that the average standard of living in the US makes it very hard for most families to survive on just one income without making large sacrifices and/or limiting their family size to smaller than what they would truly want it to be. Therefore, people who aren't willing to make those sacrifices respond by criticizing those who are. If they knew how much work is involved in being a homemaker, they certainly wouldn't be insulting you! :) But it is absolutely a "labor of love" and more rewarding than any job could ever be. Plus, there are PLENTY of opportunities for moms to make an income while they are "at home" with the kids (like being a doula!). The only negative comments I've gotten are from my dad who likes to remind me that I'm "wasting my good Georgia Tech degree" and insists on telling me, every time we talk, about how much we're going to struggle because I gave up my lofty income. Whatever! :) Sorry, this turned out to be kinda long! haha

Melissa said...

Oh but the women's movement was all about women having A CHOICE.

(The timing of me reading is funny because I am watching Gilmore Girls episode about Donna Reed right now)
I'm not sure what I call myself right now. Some days I think I am a Wizard for the stuff I get done. Other days... just plain crazy!

Jill said...

I think it is the epitome of feminism to be a homemaker. Not to get on a soapbox, but the feminist movement gave women the opportunity to CHOOSE what path they want to take.

I choose to make a home by raising my children the way I feel like is best and I'm glad that many women choose that too.